New Year, New Me, New Blog?

I turned 24 this year. It’s exciting, right?

No. The answer is no. And if your answer was “yes,” you’re either too nice to be honest about it or you have never turned 24.

Before I go on, hear me say that I am not one of those people who “just doesn’t get that excited about birthdays.” I am the friend who will try to slip a casual line about my birthday into a conversation several weeks out to build the hype. I usually try to stretch the festivities out as far as I can on either side of the actual anniversary of my birth (if your birthday is on a Friday, the ice cream you buy on Monday is a birthday treat and you don’t have to enter it into your MyFitnessPal app). I get all sentimental over every Facebook post, text, or phone call containing a birthday greeting, and I even feel a lump in my throat when the ATM at the bank tells me it hopes I have a wonderful day. Birthdays are great.

So I was surprised when birthday number 24 rolled around and was just meh. I still ate the ice cream. I still bathed in an outpouring of love and attention. But how is 24 really different than 23? I can already buy drinks, lottery tickets, and those ShamWow! towels and Snuggies from late night commercials that wake you up when you fall asleep on the couch. Signing contracts and jury duty are old news. It’ll be another year before I can even consider renting a car or running for a spot in the House of Representatives.  Really, 24 just isn’t that exciting.

I hope you’re sitting down, because this may come as a shock: Google didn’t have any pictures (at least in the public domain) of a twenty-fourth birthday party. Here is a birthday puppy instead.

But no worries. I could just add my own excitement. January 1 was just around the corner. “New year, new me,” am I right? This could be the most exciting year yet.

I feel I should mention that I always come up with approximately 27 New Year’s resolutions. Maybe three of them make it to February, and if I feel super driven I can ride one until about June on a good year. But this year would be different. All of my resolutions would last. I would jog and eat healthy food that still tasted as good as if it was deep-fried. I would have a thriving social life while still cultivating daily private meditation practices. I would attend protests and sign petitions and support all the social justice movements I could find. I would floss! Maybe even enough that my gums would get used to it and stop bleeding. And all the while I would be thoroughly excited about everything.

And I would blog. That was another resolution.

In my idealistic and optimistic stupor, I knew exactly what I would blog about. Since I was shocked when no one told me a person’s 24th birthday isn’t all that fun, I would protect others from the same terrible fate. I would share all the lessons I was learning as an adult (I’m being very generous with myself in using that term); things I didn’t learn in school. Meat thermometers are a thing, y’all. All this would be filtered through a layer of wit and charm the likes of which the internet has never seen. Millennials and Generation Z’s in years to come would regard me as their champion; the everyman whose pen was mightier than the sword of “adulting.” And I would call this blog…um…

So here’s another lesson adulthood has taught me: naming things is hard. Like, really hard. It took me longer to name this blog than it takes most people to name their children, which is saying something because children are a huge responsibility and I can abandon this blog when the going gets tough without any moral qualms or legal consequences. Some potential names and why they didn’t work:

  • Sullivan’s Travels: It’s brief, it includes my name, and it references some great works in literature and film. Fun fact: It’s also the name of one of the American Film Institute’s top 100 movies. On the off chance someone who doesn’t share my DNA and/or last name wants to Google my blog, I don’t want to be competing with an infinitely more successful and influential movie with the same name.
  • “Adulting” incognito: Now that is a chic blog name if I’ve ever heard one. At least that’s what I thought to myself before one of my more honest friends said, “Don’t use the word adulting.” Oops.
  • With a name like Sully Hart, any first initial/last name combination is out of the question.
  • Tales from the Hart: Excuse me while I go vomit.

“Why is this so hard?” I finally thought after I’d nixed every catchy, punny, clever option I could think of. “I almost have a master’s degree, so I should definitely be able to do this.”

And then this snide little voice popped into my head, mocking me: “But, Sully, even with all that work and money and studying at school, this wasn’t something you learned. Naming a blog was never on the syllabus. This is one of those lessons you’re wanting to write about.”

Ok dumb back-of-my-head voice. Thanks for the name. Now go away and don’t come back, jerkface. Well, you can come back if you have other good suggestions. But I don’t love your tone.

So here we go. This blog might go the same way as my other resolutions for the new year. I did think about flossing this morning, but I didn’t wake up at 5:00 to run, eat a low-fat smoothie, and meditate, so it looks like we’re right on schedule. But maybe this resolution will be different. For one thing, I’ve told you all what my goal is so it’ll be pretty embarrassing for me if I don’t keep it up. For two things (what is it you’re supposed to say after you say “For one thing blah blah blah?”), the lessons I’m learning outside the classroom are giving me a lot to write about. I’m sure there is a wealth of material I can cover that was off the syllabus.

3 thoughts on “New Year, New Me, New Blog?

  1. Wow look at you go! I sure do love reading your wit and charm in all its Sully glory, can’t wait for more! Here’s to keeping our goals.

    Like

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